#2: Three Soft Skills Every College Student Needs (But Few Are Taught)

Everywhere I go, I hear the same thing from student affairs professionals:

That “falling apart” isn’t laziness or immaturity. It’s a gap in emotional intelligence—and the good news is, we can teach it.

In my work with teens, college students, and young adults, I’ve identified three foundational soft skills that help students thrive:

1. Self-Awareness: What’s it like to be on the other side of me?

Students need help understanding their own communication styles, emotional triggers, and default responses. When students learn to name what they feel and why, they gain power over their reactions.

Without it: They misread others and spiral emotionally.

With it: They manage stress better and form stronger relationships with peers and professors.

2. Empathy: Can you help me understand?

Empathy is declining among young adults—down 58% over the past decade. And it shows. Without empathy, students isolate, blame, or shut down.

When we teach students how to be curious, how to listen deeply, and how to sit with discomfort, they begin to lead with compassion—skills that benefit group projects, roommate dynamics, and life beyond graduation.

3. Conflict Management: Can I check an expectation with you?

Unspoken expectations and mind-reading are a recipe for breakdown. Students need tools to name their needs, set boundaries, and resolve disagreements with clarity.

Small conflicts (like chores or group assignments) can become crises if students don’t know how to communicate. The good news? These are learnable, repeatable skills.